Hello Mavens !!! x
Well that was an adventurous week with the weather wasn't it !? I hope it didn't cause you all too many disruptions. We spent the weekend away with our really good friends and you know what it is like you have those wonderful deep conversations you normally don't have time to share. It got me thinking about how much I have grown and changed as a business and as a person. As International Women's Day approaches this week I started to think about my own influences growing up. I grew up feeling abandoned by my biological father. (My Mum had terrible taste in men). My second father figure was an abusive alcoholic and would often tell me that I was too stupid, too ugly, too fat to amount to anything. We grew up in a house of FEAR! I also recall my 'leaving meeting' with my headteacher in senior school. Her words still ring in my ears, she sat in front of my Mum and I and said she was SHOCKED I had managed to achieve the grades I had in GCSE's considering which first school I had come from. When she asked what my plans were for my future after leaving school she had told me 'NOT TO EXPECT TOO MUCH'. I mean who actually says that out loud to a child? As I type these words out I have a complete mixture of emotions floating around my heart and head. Most of all I want shout 'FUCK YOU' with a huge smile!!! I left college with distinctions and opened my Nursery School with my best friend Sally when I was 23 years old much to everyone's shock I am sure. Looking back at my childhood and younger adulthood I was completely held back by FEAR. Fear of not being good enough, not looking good enough, not being clever enough, fear of not being loved, fear of not being posh enough... the list goes on & on!! I was pretty scared of men too if I am honest. I was so lucky I met my Paul so young. I am so proud to be a mother to two young men too. Standing here as a 41, nearly 42 year old woman, I am NOT SCARED! Hopefully you will have a little bit of insight into why it is so important to me to show other women it doesn't matter what your background is or what other people think of you. You will often of read or heard me talking about how my Mum had struggled in her own adulthood and she hadn't quite got to the point where she had found happiness. I am determined to encourage other women to DREAM BIG & most importantly BELIEVE in themselves!!!! Love From, Hayley xxx